Writing has been an important tool in my life because it has allowed me to do two things I hold dearly. Expressing and discovering myself. Often the intentional exercise of expressing myself through written word has had the unintentional consequence of self-discovery. And I love win-wins.
When I started writing at around 7, I was not making any breakthrough discoveries about the ‘self’. They were narrations of my day, descriptions of the events in my life. When I was young, it was mainly a way of recording things - as if my young self needed to immortalise on paper those Barbie clothes I stole from my neighbour.
As I got older writing took on a different tone. A key piece of ‘growing up’ for me was to figure out who I was. And some of the most revealing moments of my life have happened during or after writing.
I could sense how precious those words were. I knew that I couldn’t get them out any other way. Seeing words laid out in front of me gave me an incredible satisfaction. I was seeing, right in front of me, who I was, who I had become and who I wanted to be one day. This never stops happening and I don’t think it ever will.
So how might this happen for you?
What can the written word tell you about yourself?
I have experienced self-discovery through writing in two ways, so this is how I will break it down. The first takes place in the middle of writing, the second when you revisit what is written.
One - Reshape experiences
Halfway through describing an event, thought or feeling, you may witness the experience taking a different shape. Maybe you hadn’t thought of that situation in a particular way. Perhaps while writing about a feeling you had in a certain moment you notice your feelings have changed, a lot or a little.
Yet other things you might notice while writing are writing patterns which are recurring, and genuinely sound like you - perhaps you are discovering your writing voice.
Two - Revisit
Going over what you have written is a useful exercise for many reasons. What I like to do is to treat the finished products of personal writing - for example, writing down thoughts, feelings, dreams etc. - like a process map. This map makes many things clearer, so use it to your advantage.
Pay attention to how you describe things. Are there recurring words or sentence structures? Do you focus more on the past or on the future? These could reveal where your attention is mostly at, for example.
Another thing that can be found in the ‘map’ is how you relate to people. Maybe you take more of an active role in your relationships and steer them a certain way, or perhaps you are more of an observer.
Because writing has a process of its own (which, I might add, is not universal) the act of writing can tell you a lot about how you’ve come to experience the things which you are describing, and what you have learned once these experiences are past.
Who knew I could use writing in all those ways?
Who knew indeed! Writing does all kind of crazy things. Sometimes you’ll write things you didn’t even know were in your head in the first place - things you haven’t consciously processed per se.
Discovering aspects of yourself is only one possible outcome. There’s so much more to writing than that, but self-discovery is probably one of my favourite unintended consequences.
Your turn.
Can you think of other things you can find in this process map? Let me know in the comments!