I used to get mad about not having enough time to do the things I love. There wasn’t enough time to draw, write, or see that close friend I missed, because I was so busy. But if someone asked me what I’d done that week, I had to think hard. Like someone else, not me, had lived those days.
I remembered work, chores, going for walks. But I couldn’t remember doing things I liked doing, or even having a choice. The freedom to choose was taken away, and I did everything without a conscious thought. But who was taking my freedom to choose away from me?
I was.
Sure, it’s nice to be on auto-pilot sometimes and not have to think about every single thing. But isn’t is alarming to think back on your days and feel like someone else lived them? To realise you may not have chosen anything you spent your time on?
When the week ends and we haven’t done anything for ourselves, that’s on us. Being busy is an excuse for neglecting yourself.
Don’t wait to have time; steal it for your activities, to rest, to eat well. Share it with people you like to spend time with.
Here’s how I went about it.
Before the week started, I visualised those days. What needs to be done in my household, and what needs to be done for me? I started the day with hours of self-care, instead of getting to the end of the day to find I was too tired, and would rather do something else. I don’t have much energy at the end of the day, so I scheduled things that don’t require much attention.
Own your time
Look at the week on a calendar before it starts. Schedule time for things you “never find time to do”. Once it’s scheduled, treat it as you would an important commitment. Don’t cancel it, do something that needs “immediate attention”, or postpone it (to me, this is the same as cancelling). Some things can wait - for those with caring responsibilities, you might need to negotiate.
Choose what you, and only you, want to do
Only you know what brings you joy, so you should be in charge of choosing.
Ignore others for a bit
For a few hours, pretend no one else is around and focus on your activity. Leave your phone far away. The time is for you and no one else.
You may find taking time for yourself will open up headspace for ideas and time to work on them (you might check out some tips on how to do that), and find activities that make you “zone” out!